Merry Christmas

I thought I would give the gift of games to everyone this Christmas. Click the header and get over to Eyezmaze for some great games. Tontie is my personal favorite but Rock, paper, scissor is a sure bet on time mis-managment. Try Grow and Vanilla for some truly weird gameplay.
As a bonus "Dirty Santa" gift, I give you www.ebaumsworld.com to all who haven't been before. Go to the video and audio pages for hours of laughs but be warned, some have adult humor on them.(some accidental nudity and language)
My final gift will be www.thesneeze.com. If you don't mind some foul language, his "Steve don't eat it!" posts are some of the funniest I have ever read. "Spit your lunch out" funny stuff.
I would post some Luke pics but we didn't have any new ones with any Santa gear on. Sorry.
My next post will have extra Luke photos to make up. Well, back to my "Napoleon Dynamite" marathon. SWEET!!!

Oh Happy Day!

Now this is the happiest baby I have ever seen! Believe it or not, he STILL hasn't laughed. But we are getting a lot of huge smiles and squeels. He should be smiling, he just got fed. Lucky lil'Devil.

This is Lukes "Curly" of the Three Stooges imitation. 

Wow! Has It Been 2 Weeks?

I can't believe how fast time slips by. Luke is already 6 weeks old and is beginning to wear his overalls in anticipation of cutting the grass for us this spring. He is such a good boy! He won't be old enough to use the weed eater without supervision though.
I apologize for not posting in a while but the wrestling season has begun so our days are totally insane, running all over the state for meets and taking care of Luke at the same time.
He has aready begun to do the push up thing on his belly. I will get a pic of it soon and post it because it looks real cute. I just said that something was cute. Not very manly of me but it is the truth, oh well.
One of my wrestlers threw a buiscuit at the tournament this weekend and hit me in the back with it from the top of the bleachers. Was I angry? ME? ANGRY?!!! AAARRRGGGHH!!!!
I never thought that I would threaten a boy with stuffing a cold, stale, lint covered buiscuit down his throat, but I did.
Don't worry, I didn't make a scene. I gave him a cold stare for about 5 seconds before I turned around and gathered my composure. I knew that I couldn't physically assault him so it was no use visualizing it either. I then called him down beside me and made him sit next to me for 10 minutes without saying a word. I wanted to berate him but I knew the suspence was killing him much worse than anything I really had to say.
Finally I turned to him.
"Ralphie?"
"Huh?"
"Did you hit me with that buiscuit?"
"Chase hit me with a piece first and I was just gettin,,,"
"Ralphie?", calm. Ice cold in fact.
"Huh,," he was visibly sweating.
"Huh Sir, Ralphie. Address me as Sir."
"Yessir."
"Pick it up, the whole thing, every piece, and bring it here."
His eyes searched around us wildly, hoping that there was some way that getting it all up would make me happy and that I would let it end there.
Impossible.
He grabbed the large piece from behind me and a large crumb from inside Chase's sneaker, "Here you go Coach," gently holding his hand out to me, as if to hand it off, like a relay baton that I might run to the garbage can for the gold.
"No Ralphie, I want you to hold it. You do realize that some one made this right?"
He nodded but his eyes never met mine.
" Kennys mom woke up extra early this morning and made bacon and sausage buiscuits for the whole team so that you wouldn't have to spend any of your money on junk food out of the concession stand and this is how you choose to show your appreciation?"
Shame doesn't describe the look. I was crushing him.
"Eat it." No emotion, just cold stare.
"HUH?" Pure fear rippled over his face for the first time. A squirrel on the raceway.
"Sir, Ralphie."
"But coach!" He was looking over my shoulder at his buddies who, no doubt, were getting a huge kick out of watching him squirm.
"Now Ralphie, put it in your mouth without another sound." I wanted to shout at him that I would slit his throat and shove it down his wind pipe with my thumb if I had to but it was going in his body one way or another. But that would have been a little over the line.
He looked at the stale bread lump, covered in hair and lint. I think it might have been the first time he faced the ugly consequences of bad decision making in his life. He knew that it was the buiscuit or the team. No way to stay on the team without going through with it.
He got very quiet and stared at it for a few seconds," All of it?" Finally looking me in the eye. He was sorry, I could see it as clear as I could see the tears welling up in his eyes.
I gave him nothing, just a gunslinger's stare.
He pinched off a small piece and began to lift it to his lips when I stopped him.
"Ralphie?"
"Sir?"
"Find a garbage can before I change my mind." Finally a smile.
And a pat on the back as he ran away.
I love this job.

ANYONE WANNA CRY?

Okay this little movie is a 52mb download so if you don't have a cable modem or DSL you might wanna download it overnight.
Did the baby turn me into a sentimental sack of fluff or have I been hiding it all these years? I cry over "Rudy" and "Big Fish" but that is about it. Oh okay, I cried over "Watership Down" when I was 12 but that doesn't count. My horomones were all out of whack and I was all moody.
Watch this one anyway and I bet it will get you at least a little bit. I found it over at www.milkandcookies.com. He always has great clips like this. Right now he has SNL's "Blue Oyster Cult's Behind the Music". Priceless.

One Month!

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to! 

This little guy has gotten to second base with my wife more in one month than I have in 8 years of marriage! What a ladies man! I am completely cool with it but sometimes he gives me this look after feeding that says, "How 'ya like those apples, big guy?" He has started to realize that those two appendages that keep hitting him in the face are his arms and that he has semi-control over them. He actually grabbed his pacifier and put it in his mouth yesterday but I think it was pure luck. I wanna know, how long before they start laughing? 

9.9 DIFFICULTY BUT CAN HE STICK THE DISMOUNT?

Paul Hamm eat your heart out! Luke is almost ready for his olympic gymnastics debut! Point those toes son! 

"This Aggression Will Not Stand, uh, Man" - the Dude

For 9 years we have lived on this hill in almost complete seclusion. Being one of two houses on a steep hill that dead-ends into our driveway usually keeps out the door-to-door sales people and even the trick-or-treaters for that matter. We have NEVER, EVER had a regular trick-or-treater. Safe from the outside world, or so it would seem. I went out to feed our dogs last night and found this in my yard. VANDALISM!!! FULL ON GARBAGE DUMPING VANDALISM!!! This happened not once but twice! I cleaned it up only to find it worse this morning! The police are no help. They can't stake out my garbage can, or even take prints. These aren't your everyday criminals either. They didn't just knock over my trash, they went through it. I don't know if they were looking for credit card numbers or bank statements but we are real careful with those so I feel safe. But they did find some dirty diapers which they some how "cleaned". Now I am all for recycling, but I do believe there is a line which you do not cross. Diapers cleaned by criminals from the trash can is somewhere WAY beyond that line. What is a man to do to secure his home for his wife and child? 

Crossman 880 pneumatic pellet rifle complete with scope! Killing is not an answer or an option but a little heat on the fanny will work fine as a deterrent. 

Road Weary

"Here I am, on the road again, here I am , on the stage,,,," ," Your thoughts will soon be wanderin' , the way they always do, when you're ridin 16 hours and there is nothin' left to do. Don't feel much like ridin' just wish the trip was through." Bob Seger - Turn the Page
Sorry I couldn't link the Seger version but a cover will have to do. Just click the header and find it on the list. Not too shabby of a cover really. 

I awoke this morning to this scene on the other side of the bed. They were so cute and comfortable but it still looked like a submission hold on the "Monday Night Raw". Where is Rick Flair when you need him? 

Someone is taking a nap and someone needs a nap. The paparazzi caught me off guard. Now I know how Britney and J-Lo feel all the time. 

Old School Games!

How could I ever forget going to the Carousel skating rink on 78 highway and playing such greats as Defender and Joust? To a boy of 8, these were the greatest times of my life. I sweated all week around the house doing chores so that I could get my 10 bucks to go skating. Of couse I liked to skate but that isn't what ran through my tiny brain every night.
It was Robotron! This is a game of white knuckle action. There were women and children to save. Millions of evil red martian men to zap. Big brained killers who turned innocent civilians into hyped-up zombies who thirsted for my blood. My dreams were filled with schemes to beat the game. Too bad that after I payed for my skates I only had 3 dollars left. That meant only twelve games! Thirty six lives!!!!! Not enough time! Not enough opportunities to save the Earth! OH THE HUMANITY OF IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!
Now I play for free online and cry for my embarrassing childhood.
(Why did I have to be born in the generation that Break-Dancing and Mullets were socially acceptable? Don't get me started on parachute pants! I never had a pair and cried over it! Really! I found a pair at the thrift store in '92 and had to get them just so I could get over the trauma.)
Oh well, click the header and head over to Shockwave to re-live the glory days of gaming. The shockwave player is a small download and so far I haven't seen any spam or spyware attached to it so, enjoy!

November is here

Luke sends his greetings! 

Happy Halloween Folks!

We are a little excited about Halloween. Well, some of us more than others. Too bad his Lion costume was too big because it was way cute but it looked like he had been eaten by a Lion and it wasn't a big meal at all. We still had a good time at the church and we enjoyed seeing all of our friends dressed up in silly costumes. More will appear soon so enjoy these now and be aware that yours may show up soon. 

How many pastors would dress up in a hilarious outfit like this and let you take a picture? Do you think he would have thought a little longer about that decision if he knew I would post it here? I don't because that is just the way Jamie is. 

Sam makes a great Bob the Builder and Kaitlyn makes a perfect cat burglar. 

Thursday Night Photo Shoot

One happy (and two out of three very tired) Family. We look pretty rough but he sure made the photo worth all the effort.
The Yak returned tonight with a vengeance! Bouncy seats are not for infants who have just fed for 45 minutes. Especially when they are set on the vibrate mode. The moment I turned it on, he gave me the Yak shot all over his onesie, feet, bouncer, 1/2 foot of the floor and into my lap. I tried to get some pics but they didn't work out. Oh well.
Keri, Crystal, and Ashleigh came by and dropped off food for us. We truly appreciate the kindness you folks have shown us. Courtney has been going above and beyond the call of freindship by coming every day she can and sitting with Luke and Mandy. Doing whatever she can to help. Which is mainly give mom a chance to get a nap every once in a while. Elijah is gonna be one lucky little boy to have her as a mom and Noah as a dad.  

Sorry for the delay Sam, but I had some camera issues that I had to resolve. This is a pretty good picture with his hair in it. Hope you like it. Any other picture requests?